Monday.  I really didn’t feel like going in (yet another post), but I dragged my butt out of bed, although not before giving Kumo and Danica some up-on-the-bed loving.  I think I enjoy it more than they do.  I love those guys.  Although I hate getting up on Mondays to go to work, the thought of what awaits me in the kitchen motivates me.  My chocolate Shakeology oatmeal. NOM NOM NOM

I microwave 1 serving of old fashioned quaker oats.  While it’s cooking , I take a fuji apple (honeycrips aren’t in season), save half for another time, core the remaining half, and chop into small pieces.  Once the oatmeal is done cooking, I then add chocolate Shakeology, Optimum Nutrition Whey Protein, Bell Plantation PB2 (peanut butter without the oil, non-gmo), and some cinnamon and add these to the now ready Oatmeal.  Because there’s so much dense food now in the oatmeal, I usually end up having to add some additional hot water.  By far my favorite meal of the day.

No fresh snacks at work means planning, …means stopping off at the grocery store on the way to work. Dear Whole Foods, please open a store near work or home.  KTHXBYE. Safeway.  Knew I wanted some in-pod edamane, but.. DOH, the only podded edamame is ‘best if used by 3/27′, HELLO that’s a week ago! Pass (sigh).  Needs to be portable, … let’s see.  Carrots, bananas, Fuji Apples (these look a bit long in age, but for some reason, the safeway near my work always has medicre apples), unsalted roasted almonds, a sweet potato (will end up covered in cinnamon I already have at work), a small pack of sugar snap peas.  Everything is organic except the snow peas.  Mission accomplished.

I’m 37 today, and Sil and Joe (work) want to take me out to lunch, very nice of them.  These days, I generally don’t like eating out.  Most places end up adding things ot your food that I don’t want (butter, cheap oils, and who knows what else).  I chose the Counter in San Jose, a custom burger joint.  I ordered a 1/3 pound grilled chicken breast over organic mixed greens, tomato, cucumber, alfalfa sprouts, fresh avocado, and some tzaziki sauce on the side (342 calories, though not enough carbs).  When I was eating more dairy, I used to also get their herbed goat cheese spread, btw, which is awesome.  But, for today, skipped it, and didn’t miss it. It was spectacular.  Forgot to snap a picture of this, ah well.  When I got back to work, I realized I still felt hungry, and broke into an organic protein food bar to get a few more carbs.  It should help hold me until a bit later.  These bars are awesome.  330 calories, 22 proteins, 33 carbs, 8 fibers, no GMO’s, no Trans Fats, alkalizing, and full of energy.  By far the best tasting, best ingredients.  Credit to Silvino for linking me to the Matt Danzig fighter blog post about his diet, which is where I learned about this awesome bars).

When I felt the need to eat for no good reason, I’d either pop an almond (1), or grab a carrot.  I estimate I ate 9 almonds and one or two carrots (always feel like bugs buny when I’m eating a carrot, sup doc?).  Around 3pm, I made another round of oatmeal Shakeology, but this time used a banana (tasty, great pre P90x food!).  This will easily hold me over until dinner.

Tonight is a special treat.  For my birthday, anna prepared my recipe for mango salsa, some sauteed zucchini, and some baked chicken.  The salsa  was healthy, fresh, and perfect.  We have been eating a lot of roasted veggies, carrots, sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts, and parsnips.  My whole reason for coming up with the salsa recipe was I needed a way to zest up baked fish.  I can spice some sockeye salmon up well enough, but variety keeps it interesting.  This salsa was just what I needed to do that.  Thanks Honey.

After doing some additional reading and investigation, I’ve found that consuming casein protein before bedtime will keep hungry muscles fed overnight.  The dairy based casein protein digests more slowly than whey based protein, and as such, tends to sustain growing muscles overnight.  This idea reminds me of that old addage “a glass of milk before bed time”.  I don’t know when I first heard it, but from a muscle building standpoint, it makes total sense.  I also throw in some PB2 for good measure (chocolate needs peanut butter), and several dashes of cinnamon (helps keep you feeling full).  I then add several ice cubes, and blend for 30 seconds.  Talk about a killer dessert.

I did contact Optimum Nutrition, asking:

1) What is the diet of the cows that product your products?
2) Are your cows subjected to Growth Hormones? (rBST, others?)

Below is the response I received:

We deal with a large number of whey suppliers who buy from an enormous amount of farms, and as such, we cannot state that our products are rBGH, IGF-1, antibiotic, and BST free.  However, whenever possible, we try to select from companies that we know have a strong interest in humane treatment as well as natural methods.  One such company is _____ Cheese Company.  Please note their response:

 ”_____Cheese Company is committed to producing the highest quality cheese and ingredients. This commitment begins at the source – the milk we receive from more than 260 family-owned dairies. Because dairy herd performance reflects the quality of care received at every stage of the production cycle, our dairy farmers rely on proven best management practices to maintain the health and welfare of their dairy cows. Dairies keep detailed records, continually work on hygiene and sanitation, and utilize new technologies – from misters to milking equipment, freestalls and barn innovations, and modern management practices to provide first-rate cow comfort on the dairy. Our dairy farmers extend their care beyond the cow to the environment, as well, with _____ Cheese Company having the greatest number of dairies certified in the environmental stewardship program administered by the California Dairy Quality Assurance program.”

I’m not thrilled by this answer, but what can I do?

Some might ask ‘Why the shakeology? Why not eat complete whole foods all day? Why use protein powder vs naturally occuring proteins?  Excellent questions!  First, I love the taste of shakeolgoy.  It always feels like something I shoudln’t be able to eat, that should be a no-fly-zone for those trying to have a healthy diet.  So, it fulfills that ‘aha’ part of my brain’s needs.  It also has a ton of rare nutrients in it from even rarer foods.  For the Casein protein powder, I could use Greek yogurt, as the protein in greek yogurt should conceivably do the same thing.  However, I’m trying to move away from eating whole dairy products.  Milk, unless organic, suffers from the failures of GMO foods (bad chemicals, cancer causing agents and precursors, food allergies, ..all bad).  Soy milk, well.. Soy has a tendency to cause fluctuations in testosterone due to the oestradiol it contains.  Those fluctuations can lead to increased inflamation (in the lining of your blood vessels), which can increase your risk of heart disease.  The main reason I’d typically add milk to a dish or eat it would be for the protein.  Most almond milk I’ve found doesn’t have enough protein to warrant it’s use.  And I don’t know of any rice milk based greek yogurt.  So, there ya go.  It seems, most dairy products dont’ have a place in my life.

This raises the question, what about the protein powder?  Whey is from dairy, and casein is from dairy, right?  This is true.  And honestly, I don’t’ have enough information on this subject.  It’s possible I’m doing exactly what I’m trying to avoid by eating those powders.  but, I figure, the less of the dairy product I eat, the less chance I have of suffering its negative consequences (so if only the protein powder, perhaps the process to extract the powder will also extract some of its other bad mojo.  :shrug:, more research is needed).

There’s also the vegetarian movement.  Although I find myself eating a LOT more veggies now that I’m not eating wheat or bread, I don’t think that I could sustain myself just eating vegetables and feel satisfied.  Maybe someday, but I’m not there yet.

“Are you such a racer! Always going, moving, so many things at once, always in motion!”
(in response to my attemps to ‘fix’ what ails me)

I’ve had heal pain in my ankle/Achilles since July 10th of this year.  It’s been just over 8 weeks.  I recently went to see Joyce Thom (more on Joyce here), and even she spoke about how in Eastern Medicine, the right side of your body is usually linked to the doing, being in motion.  And she thought it was intriguing that most of my pain was there (my right lower back, My right Quad, my right Calf, my right knee, my right ankle).

Beatrice, Joyce, and my father’s wife kandy, are all saying the same things.

-Just Be: Take the time to learn how to ‘just be’ (not to be happy only when in motion, doing, accomplishing).
-Relax: Everything really will be okay.
-Breathe: Breathe with a purpose, to calm yourself, constantly, deep breaths, mindful, from the belly.
-Trust Yourself: This one is a challenge for me.  Since my lower back injury, I’ve seen my body as a hidden weapon that only needs to be activated to cause incredible, instant pain.  I’m working on accepting my body as part of me, not the enemy.
-Appreciate Yourself: Give yourself credit for each and every accomplishment, focus on the positive, literally pat yourself on your back when you do something good for yourself.  Feel the good on the other side of the tough choices you make, focus on it, wait for the feeling before you move into the resistance, wait for the resistance to fade and the good feeling to saturate you.

My intellectual self is still trying to think and do what it can to ‘fix’ this.  I’m in the process of convincing myself to take time, make space, flow…

…It’s a very interesting and challenging time to be me

He said “Wow, you’re so calm… I’m sooo sorry”.

Little did he know it took that many hours of calming music to take me there

There’s damage to the car.  The two passenger doors will likely need to be replaced.

However, it’s jsut a car, car’s can be fixed.  I wasn’t hurt, nor was the other driver.  Life goes on

Those I trust tell me, that to get there, I just have to let go, to do nothing, don’t try to fix anything, but instead, listen to my body, my non-intellectual self, relax…. This is so foreign to me, it is so differenet from what I’ve done until now.

I’m the guy that:

-is the stand-in Dad.

-shows up to the sporting events
(because BioDad didn’t care enough to find out when they were or make the drive up to see them).

-shows up to the music concerts
(because BioDad didn’t care enough to check the schedule, and make the drive up to see his daughter perform).

-helps her understand percents-fractions-decimals-and-Algebra
(because BioDad doesn’t choose to when she’s there).

-teaches her that plagiarism is a crime
(because BioDad plagiarizes her report for her).

-picks her up from the dance
(because BioDad didn’t know she HAD a dance).

-helps her pick her torn heart up off the ground, brush it off, and shove it back into her heart after her boyfriend tries to destroy it
(because BioDad didn’t care to ask if she had a boyfriend).

-in the end of the day, while he still does, doesn’t need to say that he Loves you (Cassidy), because when you look at my actions, it’s clear who took the time with you.

Cassidy to me, is not a commodity, she is NOT someone that I take for granted,…..she is a person, a kid, a daughter that has feelings and wants and dreams…and needs guidance as any tween does.  She needs parents, ..fulltime parents, not when it is convenient…When I took up this position (step dad), it wasn’t marked as ‘temp’ or ‘part-time’ or ‘contract’, …it’s pretty simple really, it’s something that you become…, and once you are, that’s it…you’re it!  You’re the one.  and everyday, if you take part in her life, or if you do NOT take part in your life, it affects her.

Soon, she won’t need much parenting, and that’ll be the end of the job.  Until that time though, I’ll do whatever I can to help her success as she defines it, and experience life with guidance.  I will give her everything, and ask for nothing in return, other than that she do her best no matter what.

I’m the Step Dad.

When I was in 5th grade, I can remember during one of my subjects, we were reading alloud, and one of the sentences was “Ben has fat fingers”.  The whole class laughed (I was the only Ben in my class).  It’s funny the things kids remember and how it affects them.

When I was 9, I can remember my Step-mom cooking fast meals for us, yes, she would include carrots as a side dish, but the main course would be something like Macaroni and Cheese.  It was delicious the way she made it!  But, it was also extremely unhealthy.  I can’t remember my parents focusing on nutrition and fitness as I was growing up, either that or I was just a typical kid who knew better than his parents.  Probably both are true.

Around 13 years old, I found something I loved to do that required energy.  I started to go to the local park a few blocks away.  They had two tennis courts there.  On the court closest to the border of the park, on one side of that court, they had a green wood section up against the border fence, probalby 3 times as high as a standard net, but it had a white line where the net should be.  And so, I started to teach myself how to play tennis by playing tennis at twice the speed against that wall.  I’d bring a few set of new balls, and I’d practice aiming at different spots just above the net line.  I”m not sure I tied together that it was helping me loose weight at the time, but I knew that I would come home drenched in sweat.  Around that time, I also started eating  slimfast shakes for dinner. I had just become tired of being the chubby kid

I’ve gone back and forth with weight my entire life, up and down…But not anymore.  It’s healthy back for life.  That’s what I have written on reminders around the house, along with a very short list of the things that I need to keep doing, it says:

My Health Back for Life
Weight: 205 (lean)
-Healthy Diet: low fat, low carbs, low sugar
-Regular exercise (gym, walking)

Core Muscle Strength (build it / keep it)
-rehabilitiation
-Education
-Repetition

I know it may seem simple, but it’s amazing how when you have a positive reason and reminder around the house, how useful it is.

My wife Anna and I go to the gym on a fairly regular basis, but there are nights where if I”m the one cooking dinner, making time, while possible, is not something I want to do.  So, here are some of the things I now have at home and do at home to keep things moving along for my health:

To Buy:
1. Swiss Exercise Ball: You can get these at $10 at target.  Don’t buy the more expensive ones, they won’t give you anything useful.  I use this ball for a bunch of exercises I do, and truly there are even more I don’t currently do mainly because of my back.

2. 10lb Medicine ball: I use this to increase the difficulty of some of the core exercises that I do.  This 10lb ball goes for around $30 at Target.

So,that’s it!  $40 plus tax.

The exercises I’m going to list are in no particular order, although I like to stretch first (and sometimes after as well, depending on how my back is feeling:

1. Hamstring Stretch (lying down):  This is one of the exercises my rehab specialist recommended I do at least once a day.  I do 15 seconds per iteration, 3 times per each leg with a 5 second break between the stretches.  Its important to try to get your foot parallel to the ground as much as you can as that serves to stretch out the hamstring even more.  Additionally, I use a small rolled up hand towl under my lower back at the top of the sacrum to make sure I hold proper form (the back tends to want to do the wrong thing with this stretch, it protects your back).

2. Piriformis Stretch: Yet another rehab recommendation.  I included a picture of where the piriformis is located (think lower glutes).  I use the rolled up towel again just above my sacrum for good form.  The goal here is to keep your back on the ground, put one foot on the opposite legs outide knee area, and lightly push the knee that is crossed over toward the opposite leg until you feel tension in your glutes (that’s the piriformis stretching).  According to my rehab dude, the piriformis is an often overlooked muscle to stretch, and this exercise does it safely.

3. Piriformis stretch #2: warning: This can be a difficult stretch for some.  Again using the towel just above my sacrum, you’re on you’re back.  Start by having both knee’s bent (Feet by your glutes), and bring one foot so it’s just in front of the other knee.  You can move it so that your calf is touching the other knee, but so that that leg is below the height of the other leg (the one still with foot touching your glutes or so).  You then hold the leg in front of the other leg comfortable, and while doing this, push the stretched leg (you’ll feel it) with the other leg toward your chest.  Make sure to keep your back neutral while doing this, and take it slow.  The first you do this, you may not being able to stretch it very far, but keep working at it over time.

4. Leg Lifts: Now we get into the beginning of the exercises!   No more towel under the lower back.  The picture to the left shows the starting position.  The idea here, is to keep your back neutral while dipping the extended leg (along with your back) down a few degrees, then back up.  You’ll be using your abs and back to do the work.  I do 10 per side twice (10 left, 10 right, 10 left, 10 right).  There’s a slightly more advanced version of this that I do now.  You see how her hands are on the ground to stabilize herself?  I now take my hands, and hold the medicine ball with both hands (arms extended) out past my head (above my head, if i was standing, my arms would be making a say 15 degree angle with the ground, this helps to also work your upper abs.

5. Bridge plus heal dig: We’re now no longer using the towel under the lower back / sacrum.  You lie on your back with your legs resting on top of the ball. To add difficulty, just put the heels of your feet on the ball.  Raise your hips and buttocks off the floor into a bridge .(A)  Tighten your abdominal muscles.Keep your hips and glutes off the floor while you pull the ball closer to your buttocks with your feet (B). Dig your heels into the ball for traction and to engage the muscles along the back of your thighs (hamstrings). Hold for three deep breaths.  Hold for two seconds and then return to the starting position.  I do two sets of fifteen.

6. Bridged Leg Lifts: In between my Bridge plus heal dig sets,  I do 10 of the bridged leg lifts pictured to the left (10 per leg, alternating).  This helps to really work the muscles even more.  Your muscles should be tired by the time you finish your second set of Bridge plus heal digs.  If not, try adding a few more leg lifts.

7. Superman Variant: This exercise felt great on my lower back.  You start in a crawling position with your knees and hands on the ground.  While keeping your back neutral, you lift one arm out in front of you, slightly above horizontal while simultaneously raising your alternate leg straight out behind you (slightly above horizontal).  If this is your first time doing this, be patient with yourself.  It will seem awkard (since your muscles dont’ usually do this naturally).  There’s a more advanced version where you take the swiss exercise ball underneaht your belly (positioned so you’re balanced on it.  Your arms will be in that same crawling starting position, but your legts will start out extended, with only your toes touching the ground.  The exercise is mostly the same, but although this might sound easier, it’s more challenging to balance on the ball and with your legs extended.

8. Exercise Ball Roll out: You start on your knees with the excise ball in front of you, you bend slightly foward at the butt, but will maintain a neutral back otherwise.  You put your hands on the ball, and allow your feet to come off the ground while your hands/forearms roll onto the ball, the ball rolls foward (To a comfortable point), hold it for 2 seconds, then back slowly to starting position.  Keep your abs flexed, this one works both your abs and back.  I do just one set of 15.

9. Squats with Exercise Ball:  This is the last of my rehab exercises.  This is just a form of a controlled Squat against a wall using the exercise ball.  You back up to a wall and place the exercise ball somewhere between the top of your sacrum and mid back (Depending on your ball size).  Spread your feet apart a couple inches more than shoulder width and slightly out in front of you.  As you come down (similar to the picture), make sure to allow your but to stick out (toward the wall) but maintain a neutral spine.  Come down until your knee to hip is horizontal to the ground, hold for two seconds, and then return to starting position.  This works the lazy hamstring (never gets enough attention).  I can see the definition that this exercise alone has brought!  If this is too easy (make sure it is first), you can do the same exercise, but put weights in your hands, but even if you don’t have weights, just do the regular exercise regularly.

10. Side Plank: If you’ve ever done yoga, you may recognize this exercise.  The goal here is to hold the position illustrated to the left.  I usually try to hold for 10-15 count per side, then repeat.  This is a great stabilizer exercise.  If you find it difficult to hold yourself up with an arm, you can do a variant where instead of your arm extended downard completely, you rest on the elbow to hand like this.

11. Oblique Curls:  The exercise Ball is great for doing regular curls and Oblique Curls.  Here’s an illustration of how to do them to the right.  I do about 10 per side, then repeat, and i try to hold the up position for a second or two.

12.  Desk Chair Replacement (exercise ball):  I tend to unfortunately sit a lot at work and at home in front of a computer desk (what can I say, I’m a geek).  So, rather than let my core be lazy, at home at least, I use the exercise ball (on carpet) as a chair replacement.  It will tire you out quickly, so start with small stints at first and increase as you build endurance.  It’s very important when doig this to make sure that you are sitting with proper posture (neutral spine).  At first I wasn’t sure I could trust the ball (not to suddenly deflate, and have me fall), but I’ve built trust with it (heh), keeps the abs and back firing to hold you in position.

Well, that’s it for now.  These exercises have served me very well, and they’re something you can do everyday not even having to leave your house.  There are a ton more of the swiss ball exercises out there (google!).  Hopefully you find them as useful as I do!

I had gotten in the habit of just eating Honey-Nut cheerios with light soy milk, which… is good, whole grains in the cheerios, Protein and Omega-3′s in the Soy Milk, only 70 calories for the soy milk, and the honey-nut part sweetens it up a bit.  But, it’s somewhat carb heavy and as a result of not having a lot of protein, it doesn’t usually keep me full for very long (That’s not horrible, but I sometimes like to feel full.  I’ve had to redfine full in the last 3 months.  Most of my meals are one cup of food.

So when she spoke of hot breakfast it got me to thinking what I was craving.  I’ve streamlined the proces quite a bit so it’s not very timely, but has a load of veggies, some good seasoning, a bit of kick, and a load of protein.

So, first.. the veggies.  I’m VERY lazy when it comes to food (generally).  And, I tend to over-organize, so…One thing I found I Could do is make a veggie mix, for the week…cut it all up, mix it up, and seal it in a tupperware container.  This way, when I went to make my eggs (during the week), its not as time consuming.  My veggie Mix routinely consists of

1. Garlic: I take fresh garlic from the grocery store, peal the cloves myself (to taste, I use around 8 large cloves, I love garlic), and then mince it up into tiny pieces.
2. Red Bell Pepper:  They tend to carmelize in the pan, sweet, good for you, I used two large peppers, core them, de-seed them, and slice them into small pieces.
3. Green Bell Pepper: More Crunch, flavor, greens, I used 1-2 large peppers depending on the size, core them, de-seed them, and slice them into small pieces.
4. Sliced White Mushroom: I love mushrooms, I added a whole small supermarket tub of these to the mix, guessing its around 2 cups, they’re pre-sliced and cleaned.
5. Zuchini: More crunch, greens, pick up the flavor of whatever you cook, yum, I used 1-2 small zuchini. slice and quarter them.

So, that’s the veggie mix, I combine all of those ingredients in a tupperware container, mix it by spoon, then top it and shake it up a bit (think salad shaker).  The longer it sits in there, the more it picks up the garlic, …MMMMmm.

Chicken: I also use precooked and sliced up chicken pieces from Costco.  They come in a two-pack for around $8.  I measure out three ounches of chicken, and then cut it into smaller pieces.

Cooking:

I spray a nine inch frying pan lightly with pam, and add around one cup of the veggie-mix and the three ounches of chicken:

I also added some of this wonderful local garlic based seasoning, Garlic Dude Dust:

I can’t say enough good things about this seasoning mix.  It’s good on just about everything, is low sodium (yay!).  My sister originally bought it while she was down visiting, and we’ve since become addicted to it (heh).  We use it in soups, eggs, our stuffed peppers.  It’s a great product, and well worth it.

I let the chicken brown a bit (even though it’s already cooked) and absorb some of the flavor of the seasoning and veggies.  Also, the mushrooms have to loose some of the water, and I want that to cook off so the eggs don’t end up too runny.  Additionally, the red peppers will carmelize.  Cook as long as you want, I think I end up cooking and turing/mixing these for 5 minutes or so.

After the chicken and veggie mix is done, I leave it in the pan, and add one cup of Real Eggs (Costco sells six 2-cup cartons in one box for around $7 , cheaper than eggs, is mostly just the egg whites plus some flavoring and color.  They can tend to taste a bit salty, so no need to add any salt).  This is what your pan should look like at this point:

Once I’m done frying it up (eggs aren’t very wet anymore),  I scoop it into a medium sized bown, and immediately top it off with an eight to a quarter cup of this fat-free shredded cheddar that mylocal grocery store sells:

And after the cheese had melted a bit (say one to two minutes), I mix the cheese into the eggs (almost like a binding agent), and then top it off with 1-2 tablespoons of Pace Picante Salsa (mix it in), and after this, it’s done, healthy, tasty! EAT!

The big catalyst for me was back in September of this past year (2009).  I had been working out in the yard a lot, including moving 3-4 truck loads of dirt into the back yard to fill a troublesome pond for preparation for sod back there.

1. Shovel dirt from truck to wheelbarrow
2. ‘Barrow the dirt from the driveway to the back yard and dump.
3. Spread the dirt around, and Slam it into the ground with a heavy iron tool to build a good base for the sod.

So, my lower back was starting to hurt.  It all came to climax when while at the local dogpark, I bent down just a bit to clean and fill the water dish, and BAM!  I felt that horrible sharp pain in my back, ..I had (again) pinched a nerve.  The amount of pain is difficult to describe.  The only thing I think might compare is being stabbed in the back with Crocodile Dundee’s knife.

The load of just standing causes horrible pain and you’re not sure what to do to relieve it.  Do you lie down in hopes that the decrease in pressure will make it subside? Risking maybe not being able to get up?  Do you stay straight in the hopes that no bending will help it to calm down?  It’s a horrible feeling.  Fortunately, somehow, I was able to get Kumo back onto the leash and waddle home.

The Next Morning is a day I will never forget.

As I woke up, I could feel that my back was very sore.  Not a good sign I thought to myself, ..typically those first moments as you wake up are the best your back will be that day.  So, I could feel sharp discomfort as I tried to get myself sitting up.  Once I managed that ,I realized that as soon as I tried to put any weight on my right foot (right side back pain), I had to immediately lie  down again.  Anna was at work, and my phone was downstairs….Shit.

It was then that I also realized I had a migraine headache…pulsing, aching, …hot.  So, knowing that I wasn’t going to do anything upstairs, and I had a dog downstairs in a crate that needed to go out…

…I crawled.  I crawled from our uptsairs bedroom, down the hallway, down the stairs backwards, over to his crate, let him out, over to the back sliding glass door, and let him go outside to TCB (Take care of Business, we tell him to ‘Get Busy’, he knows what to do), all the while my head is POUNDING, …I finally break down and am actually tearing up from the pain.

I manage over to the sofa, and roll myself up onto it and lie down.  My phone was on the table in front of it.  I call Anna to tell her what’s going on.    At that moment, I had no idea I’d be stuck on the couch for a month.

I had ruptured my L5-S1 disc in my lower back, and there was a moderate sized protusion putting (a lot of) pressure on the nerve root (…..ouch).

Finally, relief came when I started taking Celebrex (a very strong non-steroidal anti-inflamatory pill), and it came fast.  In several days, I was up walking around again.  Made a doctor’s visit up north, and he said one of the things I could do was to get a shot in my lower back of Steroids (Cortisone), which was much stronger than anything i could take orally.  Anxiously, I agreed to the procedure (done on 10/17/09).  Although I was very nervous while I was on that operating room table, on my stomache, with an undoubtedly massive needle looming over my L5-S1, ..it made all the difference.

I was mobile again and not on Celebrex (good for short time, bad long term, can cause vascular problems, heart attack, stroke…ya know, bad stuff).  During that week, I decided, I was going to make a lifestyle change.  Get my body fat under control, build up my core muscles (abs, back, surrounds), and get fit and stay fit, for life, including what I eat.  I may not be able to fix my back completely, but there are things I can control.

When I first went in to the doctor after the disc rupture, their doctors scale read 253 (WHAT!  Two Hundred and fifty three pounds!  I’m 6’2″, but that is ….well…fat..).  Today?  I weigh:

200lbs (~3 months later).

The blog entries that follow this one will be about how I did it, and the tools that have brought me success.

My back still hurts a little now, think I may need another shot, but I’m healthier than I’ve ever been during my adult life.

ben at 207 pounds

Matt and I decided we’d head up to Kirkwood on Friday the 13th (yes, yes, I know, I know) to get some good Downhill skiing in.  We ended up heading up with Matt’s soccer buddy, Sep (who has a Subaru Forrest All-Wheel Drive.

Rough Start
Even before we got to any level of elevation, traffic went to stop-and-go for 30 minutes, and when we got to the front of it all, a CHP Officer was stopping and talking to every vehicle.

“Chains or All wheel drive?” he said.
Sep: “Yeah, the forrester is All wheel Drive”
“Okay, you can go ahead, but be careful, bad roads at elevation…” said the officer.
(he was not kidding)

2000 feet: When Trees Attack
Another slowdown and crawl as the road curved up ahead.  As we neared the front of the line, we saw something on the road.  Capable cars (even with AWD/Chains) were turning around.  It turned out that a large tree had JUST fallen onto and completely accross the road. Arrrrrgh……  We ended up being the first car in line, sitting there…., waiting, wondering…”Do we call it? Wait it out a bit?  See how quickly they can move it?”  Sep got out of the car and carefuly tip-toed to where the tree was blocking the road.  He hadn’t planned on walking around in the snow, so he was wearing sandals.  He looked around, but after a short while tip-toed back to the car and got back in.
“There’s no one up there.  On both sides of the tree, cars are backing up, but there aren’t any emergency vehicles or personnel” he said in frustration.  Approximiately 15-20 minutes later, a large tow-truck and an AT&T Service truck pulled out on the left.  One man got out of each vehicle and starting looking over the fallen tree.  After around 15 minutes, they had the tree carefully hooked up to the tow truck.  He started to pull the tree, but due to the direction he had chosen to move the tree, his rear tires ended up starting to spin as they began moving into deeper unpacked snow.  Shortly there after, a police woman knocked on our driver’s window.

The officer said “Hey there, if you turn around, and go back down a few hundred yards, there’s a street that is in good condition, and you can get around this mess”.

We followed her instructions, and we were again on our way.  Due to the tree, we didn’t see any other cars for quite some time.

As we began to start gaining in elevation, the road conditions very quickly worsened.  The snow was falling harder now, and the layers of packed snow and ice were not consistent.  This lead to constantly changing conditions.  Sep did his best to keep the car moving at appropriate speeds, but at one point, his front left tire started to grab in some of the deeper unpacked snow.  The Forrester started to quickly turn to the left.  Sep tried to countersteer but it wasn’t enough.  He got off throttle (lifted) and then hit the brakes, but this just worsened the loss of control.  The car continued to spin counterclockwise, and slide to the other side of the road.  We came so very close to hitting the driver’s side snow back on the other side of the road, but Sep managed to keep on very very very light throttle, and spun it around enough that we ended slowing enough, to end up pointing the wrong way and not in the snow bank.  Sep kept on throttle as none of us wanted to end up outside pushing the car out of thick heavy snow on the side of the road.  It was at this point that we saw the white SUV behind us who had slowly stopped and whose occupants were probably inside either laughing at us, shaking their heads or cursing…most likely some combination.

Sep continued to swing the car around in front of the white SUV, but ended up on the passenger side shoulder (there was no shoulder) in fairly deep unpacked snow, but fortunately, keeping a slight amount of throttle engaged, he managed to get it back on the road in the right direction.  It was a…scary..experience to say the least.

6800 Feet
We continued up, but the conditions worsened even more.  At around 6800 feet, there was only one and a half lanes of actualy drivable road.  The Downhill Half of that space had already started to accumulate several inches of fresh unpacked snow and looked quite treacherous.

7400 Feet: Point of No Return
At around 7400 feet, now fairly close to the resort, a CHP officer in a white suv caught up to us and told us that they had just closed the pass (meaining, the phsical gates up beffore the resort were now closed).

So, we now had to turn around, and head back down….

To say the least, we were all pretty heart-broken.  We all pondered whether we should believe the CHP officer, give it a go anyways, but in the end, we decided that even though it was regretful, that we should still head back down.  Shortly after we had decided to head back down, I noticed that Sep was driving extremely slowly, even more slowly than he had to.  Turned out he was hoping that one of us would make the stronger case that we should go up the mountain anyway.  Meanwhile, Matt was working to guilt Sep into going up.  When I was asked, I told the two of them that even though I really wanted to ski, there were too many negatives to going up the mountain, and too many signs on the way up to ignore.  I did however say, that even with my concerns, if the two of them wanted to try, I would support the idea (with some concern).

Resolution
Long after we had mostly come to terms with the decision to retreat, Sep finally got a call from the other car with his other friends in it.  Turns out, right around where we had been, there had been an avalanche and three cars were at least partially submerged in the snow.  That easily could have been us.  After that, there were no doubts from anyone in our car that we had made the right decision.  Just time to grieve over the loss of the day (sigh).  In all, we started driving around 630am.  We turned back around 11am.  Stopped for lunch on the way back, but it was like 9 hours of driving for NOTHING (argh).

I still have the two lift tickets I purchased from Costco since they can be used any day of this season, we just didn’t get to use them.  Hopefully we can work out another day to get back up there (since we still have those tickets).

Mannnnn, ….what a drag.